FUNNY SMS JOKES1

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FUNNY SMS JOKES1

Post  MySargodha on Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:06 am

You can fool all of the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough

hey i saw u in TV... how smart u r ... how sweet u r ... how lovely u r ... but i dont know y u r comilg only in animal planet chanel...

LOng Time Ago.... Only idiots used.... to read my SMS And Today, The history continues...

When words are not enough.... To express your feelings.... Dont think you're in LOVE.... You just need to join... ENGLISH SPEAKING COURSE

my nights r becoming sleepless, my dreams r becoming hopeless, i asked GOD is it love.....? GOD said, no..... . . . . . exams r near!

I m in the hospital. After five minutes, i shall be shifted to operation theater. Doctor say i shall die if i stop recieving ur SmSs. Now my life is in ur hands. Please save my life.

Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth

I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds rediculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS...! Wink

My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too...

A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

To forget you is hard to do and to forget me is up to you. Forget me not, forget me never. Forget this text, but not the sender.

Never say gud bye 2 sum1 who luv u.. Never say thanx who really need u.. Never blame a person who really trust u.. Never 4get a person who think u as LIFE..

You cannot buy friendship, you can earn it. If someone comes for help, be a true friend !

For me U r as... Chees 4 pizza.. passport 4 visa... butter 4 bread.. ice 4 freezer.. cream 4 cake... water 4 lake.. leaf 4 tree.. a FRIEND like u is 4 ever 4 me..!!

If i get ur Smile, I dont need Flowers,If i get ur Voice, I dont need Music, If u speack to me, I dont need anybody else,U just b my Friend, I dont need the world!

keep the lamp of friendship burning with oil of love, bcoz sun rise in east and sets in west but friendship rises in HEART and sets after DEATH!

Few realation in Earth Never Die. Want to know What is it ? Read again.. (F) Few (R) Realation (I) In (E) Earth (N) Never (D) Die

Have a "HEART" that never breaks, Have a"SMILE" that never fades, HAve a touch that never Hurt$, Have a "FRIENDSHIP" that naver ends , Like Ours!

True friendship never fades with Time:), become more tasteful like old Wine:)), only a friend can understand words and convert the rolling tears into a Smile!

FRIENDSHIP IZ VAST LIKE UNIVERSE, IT IZ DEEP LIKE SEA, IT IZ HIGH LIKE SKY, IT IZ STRONG LIKE ROKE, IT IZ KIND LIKE MOTHER, AND IT IZ SWEET LIKE U:)

MY friendship is just like a rubber band, It is too flexible, Stretch it as much as u can, but if u leave it,it 'll hurt u a lot, really a lot!

Freindship happens inside the heart, Slient.. Unwritten.. Unnbreakable by distance..Unchangeable by time.. Once a Friend, always a Freind.!

Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye?
Circuit: Simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lagane ka!

I'm leaving India!
Actually Aishwarya is pregnant and media is suspecting me. Tum bhi nikal lo, uski kaam wali bhi pregnant hai.

It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home! Let's Thank... KAAMWALI

Tabiyat thik nahi thi. Tantrik ko dikhaya, Tantrik bola bhoot ka saya hai, kisi ghor paapi ko SMS karo theek ho jaoge... Ab accha mahsus kar raha hoon.

A lady to another lady: Jab tera divorce hua tha tab to ek hi baccha tha aur ab 3 kaise?
She says: Woh kabhi kabhi maafi mangne aa jate the...

Boy: I'm not rich like Rahul, I don't even have a big car like Rahul, but I really Luv U!
Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.

A lady is standing on top of the hill n she is going to push her father down. So what's the name of the lady?
Push......Paa.

Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and touch her anywhere he likes?
A: Lifebuoy.

May the fleas of thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.

So Sweet is ur SMILE,
So Sweet is ur STYLE,
So Sweet is ur VOICE,
So Sweet is ur EYE,
see .......how Sweetly I Lie.

God made Pepsi, God made whisky, God made me so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes and God made you... well everybody makes mistakes.

SMS ka sangrah karke kya paayega vats...? Balance ka moh tyag aur sms kar... Mitron se sampark banaye rakhne se hi moksha ki prapti hogi... Swami Messageanand.

Sex - Burn Calories Chart
Lying down: 90cal
Standing up: 492cal
Doggie style: 326cal
2nd round: 824 cal
Dressing up after sex while spouse knocks at d door: 5000 cal

Judge: U r fined Rs 11420
Rapist: 11420 ??
Judge: 10000 for rape, 10.2% entertainment tax & 4% VAT

Beauty is 2 c & 2 touch,
Flowers r 2 smell & 2 pluck,
Nipples r 2 play & 2 suck,
Women r 2 Luv & 2 Fuck,
All these r free but depends on Luck

Kissing is a habit, Making love is a GAME,
Guys get pleasure, Gals get pain!
He says love u & she believes it's TRUE,
But wen tummy gets bigger, he say 'Hell to U'

A young blonde goes to the doc 4 a physical. The doctor puts his stethoscope up to the gal's chest & says: Big breaths.
The girl replies: Yeth & I'm not even 16

Girl: Arey itna bada! Munh mein kaise daloongi?
Boy: Jaldi munh kholo!
Girl: Oops, sare kapdey giley ho gaye.
Boy: Aur logi?
Girl: Na baba, yeh golgappe tum hi khao

i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!

Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on!

You’d better not be a dayfly and not having your day.

You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number

You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it or thinking about it?

You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you.

You should know what it takes to look this cheap!

You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing things.

You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number

You are never too blond to learn !!!

You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.

When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!

What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed!

We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!

We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die."

Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!

This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds."

This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?

The one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood !

The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??

Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!

Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................

roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't...

roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????

Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed

Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.

One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?

My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...

My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."

Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything ... dial my number!

Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???

It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny,an animal in bed and it knows one French word ... MOI!!

In case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!

Ik would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working!

If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.

If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit.

If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.

I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...

I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!

I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...

I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.

I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T

am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!

How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.

bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce

MySargodha
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Posts : 295
Join date : 2008-04-12
Age : 31

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